A lot of golfers are unknowingly faced with the one size doesn’t fit all problem. Let me know if you have seen this happen before or even know this guy.
A slightly shorter than average person of better than average athletic ability, let’s call him Mulligan, went out with a friend and played golf for the first time. Mulligan had such a great time playing golf and met such nice people at the golf course that he tried it again and again. Eventually the neighbour that loaned Mulligan a set of clubs wanted them back for his annual garage sale, so Mulligan decided to buy his very first set of golf clubs. Being a novice and scared to death of pro shop prices, Mulligan convinced himself that one of those $180 sets that he saw when he got his oil changed would do.
So Mulligan went off to do battle at the links armed with his very own implements of mass destruction. Mulligan’s first four or five score cards averaged his ideal body weight in pounds; but the good news is that he is only 5’6” tall and the number was only around 140. Amidst the snickers of his new best friends, Mulligan got some advice from the best golfer in his foursome who tells him that the problem was that his were clubs are junk. Mulligan was told that if he wanted to be serious about golf, he needed to go to that 10,000 square foot great big golf store and buy a set of brand X clubs. When they got back to the clubhouse, his friend laid out exactly what he needed. A $450 driver; a fairway wood costing $230, a hybrid at $220, a set of irons (3-PW) costing $1200, a good sand and lob wedge at $140 each, and while he was at it, pick up the putter that all the pros use at $340. A quick check of the math totals $2720 and when you kick in HST, you are well over $3000! Mulligan went home to the Mrs. and promised the sun, moon and the stars if she would just consent to letting him dip into the savings for this once in a life time indulgence. After much begging, “she who must be obeyed” consented to let our boy Mulligan go buy his new toys so he can be popular with his new friends.
Mulligan went off with his chequebook in hand to get all the things that were on the list. Mulligan added in a new bag with a neon logo of brand X on the side because he wanted everyone at the club to know that he is serious about the grand old game and he has got the goods to prove it; besides what would it look like having these new sticks in a golf bag that he got next to the plumbing isle.
Mulligan showed up at the club with six months of mortgage payments in the back of the car. When he opened the trunk, a strange glow emitted, not unlike the scene in Pulp Fiction when Vincent Vega opened the brief case belonging to Marsellus Wallace. All the other golfers present were lured to Mulligan like moths to a flame while “oohs” and “aahs” filled the air as Mulligan proudly showed to all the world what he has purchased. Mulligan did the parking lot to the first tee box trip in five minutes because he wanted to show the boys what he has in the bag. No stretching or hitting a few balls at the range because nobody had taken the time to let Mulligan in on that secret. They gave Mulligan the honour and he boastfully announced, “Gentlemen, I have new weapons”! Mulligan’s tee shot was ripped 80 yards to the right into the woods and the smart mouth guy in the foursome sarcastically blurted, “New weapons? Same enemy!”.
After ten rounds with very little improvement over his department store clubs, Mulligan was alone in a depressed state on the clubhouse balcony, slowly sipping his adult beverage. Mulligan was spotted by the old guy who never plays and is always on the balcony criticizing the play of all the other members. The clubhouse veteran introduced himself to Mulligan by saying, “I have been watching you and I know what’s wrong with your game. You bought those new brand X clubs and they’re not working for you because they have stiff shafts. You need brand Y that is more forgiving for new golfers and they come in a regular flex which is what you really need”. Mulligan wondered if the old man who has not turned in a scorecard in thirty years was right? Could brand Y with the regular flex shafts be the difference? Mulligan researched brand Y on his own and found a set exactly like the old man said on the great big golf store’s web site. The information in the details section was exactly like the old man said and it had to be right because after all, it was on the Internet. Mulligan called the great big golf store’s 1-800 number and spoke with the beautiful young high school student who worked the phones on nights and weekends. She was able to tell Mulligan that everything he needed was in stock and he was thrilled.
Mulligan, convinced that brand Y would be the answer, came up with a plan. Sell the $180 set along with some other junk at his first annual garage sale, dump the brand X clubs on eBay, purchase the brand Y clubs on the credit card and use the proceeds from the garage sale and eBay to pay the credit card off before the wife can figured out what happened.
So Mulligan forked over another $3000+ for brand Y clubs, got the matching bag
with the brand Y neon logo (you can’t put brand Y clubs in a
brand X bag because
bad things will happen) and drove off at the speed of light to the course. Mulligan’s
car came to a screeching halt in the club’s parking lot ten minutes before tee time.
There was the same strange glow when he opened the trunk, the same oohs and aahs
from the “boys”, a tip of the cap from the old guy on the balcony, and the same
prophetic utterance from the tee box, “Gentlemen, I have new weapons”!
It must be mentioned here that stupidity is often defined as repeating the same act and hoping for a different result. Upon impact, the ball went 80 yards to the right into the woods. The only thing different that happened was the smart mouth guy in the foursome said, “Can you believe this guy spent nearly $7,000 this year on clubs and he still can’t get off of the tee box”. The end result was a one on one discussion between Mulligan and his driver.
So what went wrong? As soon as Mulligan decided to make the game of golf an enjoyable pastime, he should have gone directly to his local pro or golf school. There he would have gotten some very much needed lessons especially on his full swing. Most pros will offer suggestions on a range of equipment that will be right for you. Mulligan’s next stop should have been to The Club Doctor Ltd. to have his clubs fitted for his swing. Quite often the local pro will give you an idea of where to start with the fitting but they usually do not have the equipment or time to work on the clubs. At The Club Doctor Ltd., we will be there to keep pace with your game as it improves. If your mechanics require a lie change or you decide to re-shaft your clubs, we can provide these services to you. We are also there to do the annual check up on your clubs which should include re-gripping the clubs.
Don’t be a like Mulligan. The Club Doctor Ltd. is looking forward to writing “your prescription to a better game”.
The Story of Mulligan
Been there, done that , bought it all.
